Gone With the Movies

Someone's At The Door

2010-03-15T12:51:00.003-04:00

To be honest, I kind of forgot about this blog. I've been quite busy doing a whole lot of nothing and so I've been unable to contribute to what should be my life's purpose. Also, there hasn't been anything that intriguing to me as of late. Awards season was a snoozer, the Academy seriously needs to give Tarantino his due but never will, though, I am extremely pleased with both Christophe Waltz and Jeff Bridges winning. Other than that the only thing I have been intending on writing about is Harry Dean Stanton and how f'ing cool he is. That was until last week when I discovered what has become my favorite show of all time, American Gothic. No one remembers this show because it aired for one season in 1995 on CBS, and CBS being CBS destroyed it seemingly on purpose. The Sam Raimi produced/Shaun Cassidy created horror series takes place in a small South Carolina town called Trinity where a demonic Sheriff rules with no conscious and a wicked sense of justice while trying to get custody of his 10 yr old son who he wants to raise in his image. With an ensemble cast of relative unknowns (with the exception of Gary Cole who is kick ass in his role as the evil Sheriff) and a cliched but captivating intricate plot, the show was an unfortunate casualty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Had the show aired today on a cable network such as HBO, it would be a huge hit ala True Blood. The characters are tremendously engaging (particularly the 10 year old boy who the show revolves around) and the story line's arc inescapably alluring. CBS drove it into the ground by not only pulling the show off for weeks at a time, but also airing episodes out of order. I have decided that CBS stinks. I also suggest that you take a look at this devilishly charming series, but in episodic order.

I'll Never Have That Recipe Again, Oh No

2010-02-03T22:26:00.005-05:00

Helllllloooooooooo!!!!!!!

My it's been a while. Now that there's no hope of anyone reading this blog I figure it'll be nice to start fresh. And by fresh I mean jump right back into writing various incoherent cinema nonsense. And what shall my return post be? I could go with the obvious, considering it's February and Oscar nominations were recently announced, but Hell, let's face it, this year's Oscar race is slightly more interesting than a typical day in the life of my Grandmother, who never leaves her house. Scratch that, my Grandmother's day is way more interesting since it always ends with 3 Manhattans, at least. No, I will not be addressing this year's lame attempt at an awards season (Okay, Jeff Bridges and Christoph Waltz are the two bright shining stars that I am clinging to). I'm gonna dish about one of my favorite Crazies, Richard Harris. I was recently watching the last Harry Potter film (hey, I have younger brothers and that is what we do with our time besides playing the ukulele or Left4Dead 2) and I was thinking how much I miss Richard Harris as that Old Wizard Man and how much the newer Old Wizard Man will never touch my heart the way Harris did, kinda like how the second Darren wasn't terrible but could never live up to the first. I also started reading the book Hellraisers, which is a collection of stories about Harris, Richard Burton, Peter O'Toole and Oliver Reed and their saucy ways. I was raised to like Harris and O'Toole purely based on their Irishness. But as I got older I became a fan on my own because of their damn fine acting. And I mean DAMN FINE ACTING. And while nowadays Harris' later work (i.e. Potter, Gladiator, Patriot Games and Unforgiven) may be well known, his earlier work is not. That's where I come in.

This Sporting Life (1963)
This was his breakthrough role. As a teen, Harris was a rugby player but had to stop due to catching Tuberculosis

Il Desserto Rosso (1964)
Some people love it, some don't. I like it.

Major Dundee (1965)
Peckinpah + Harris + Heston = Kick Ass

The Bible: The Beginning (1966)
It's John Huston so you have to see it.

Hawaii (1966)
Where else are you gonna get Harris, Max von Sydow, Julie Andrews, Gene Hackman AND a non-speaking Bette Midler? No where.

The Molly Maguires (1970)
Maybe it's an Irish thing.

A Man Called Horse (1970)
Cultier than Harry Potter.

Orca (1977)
It's so stupid but Bo Derek is in it! But sans cornrows.

The Wild Geese (1978)
Three wild and crazy kinda guys hanging in Africa

On top of all this he sang MacArthur Park too.

Can Anyone Tell Me What Christmas Is All About?!?

2009-12-24T12:06:00.019-05:00

I realize that my sarcastic nature sometimes misleads people as to the type of person I really am. That's totally on purpose. It's entirely unnecessary for anyone except those closest to me to know me. But 'tis the season and I feel compelled to express that I love Christmas not only because of presents and garland and hot cocoa and Home Alone, but also because it is the birthday of the son of God. And since I believe in God and the power of Mary and that Jesus was the Savior, Christmas means more to me than the money I get, though that is pretty cool too. It's sad that Christmas is so blown out of proportion, hella fun, but sad. Whenever I see Xmas I cringe. I get that JC wasn't born in December, I also get that Christmas derives from Winter Solstice. But since I was born and a long time before that, Christmas has represented the birth of Christ and that's what I'm sticking with. I'm not a religious person, I don't believe in attending Church every Sunday to prove your faith. I also don't believe in disrespecting the tradition. What I guess I'm getting at is that in this current world (especially in New York) where rejecting the possibility of the existence of something greater is synonymous with intellect, I'm really appreciative that I am not one of those people and while I don't pretend to know what's true for anyone else, I know what's true for myself. And what I know is what Christmas is really about. Take it Linus...

If He Only Had The Fame

2009-12-02T21:20:00.009-05:00

Both Gone With The Wind and The Wizard Of Oz turned 70 this year. Both anniversaries were well publicized. What was not well publicized is that both films were directed by the same person, Victor Fleming. Okay, it could have been well publicized. I wouldn't know since I don't pay attention, but I know generally people don't know/realize this. Yes, he was a director for hire for both films to replace canned directors, came in halfway to GWTW and had virtually no control over either one. I don't care if all he did was stand on the set with an ear piece repeating what David O Selznick screamed into a microphone from his bed in the Hills, if you've ever been a part of a film production you will know that doing ANYTHING involved in the making of a film is difficult, let alone for all intents and purposes being the director. The man smoothed over two what seemed to be irrevocably doomed productions and transitioned both into two of the greatest movies ever made IN THE SAME FREAKING YEAR. Wrap your brains around that. Both of these movies had such a huge impact on cinema that not only is 1939 considered the greatest year of filmmaking, but 70 years later both are still revered and celebrated as much as when they were first released, if not more. I can't even balance my check book. Fleming was never really appreciated as a film director and only in recent years has started to gain the attention he deserves. A number of his films like Red Dust, Treasure Island and Joan of Arc are classics. Of course none of his films are as renowned as GWTW and Oz, but then again, no one even knows who Victor Fleming is anyway. For Shame.

The Lollipop Guild is more famous than Victor Fleming

Oh My God I Love This Movie

I Don't Want To Scare The Dickens Out Of People...The DICKENS Out Of People! Nobody Gets Me

2009-11-30T21:05:00.012-05:00

I am a Christmas junkie. As soon as Thanksgiving rolls around I hop on Jesus' Birthday Bandwagon. I am actually pretty into my faith and believe in JC and all that, but let's face it, Christmas isn't reallly about the birth of our Lord and Savior. It's about movies and TV shows!!! I will be going to Hell in a handbasket. Anyhoo, I usually compile a mental list of each movie and show I have to watch before the season ends. I always miss a few and then I spend all day December 26th chastising myself for being so neglectful. I then promise myself that next year will be different, I won't let myself down by living my life and being active and social, but that I will hunker down and do what we're meant to do during the Holidays, sit on the couch with hot cocoa and watch our boob tubes. I have to say this year I am off to a great start. A great start! Thanksgiving weekend afforded me the time to hang with my family and catch a number of movies, also Rudolph. As I write this, Christmas Vacation is on making it the second time I'm watching it in a week. A solid beginning I'd say. By the end of the month, I should have tackled every movie on the list below, including the endless number of Lifetime and ABC Family holiday movies that are just awful but like a car crash, you just have to watch. Except for Single Santa with Steve Guttenberg, that's just a damn fine film. I can't spend anymore time on this post, I have a lot of work to do. Merry Christmas!

My Christmas List (in no particular order, It's A Wonderful Life is not on this list because I hate it. Yeah, I said it. It AIN'T A Wonderful Life!)

Home Alone
Rudolph The Rednose Reindeer
Die Hard
Elf
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon)
NL's Christmas Vacation
Scrooged
The Muppet Christmas Carol
Santa Claus: The Movie
Jingle All The Way (only for my bro's Arnold impersonation...Jaime! Get your mudda!)
Frosty the Snowman
White Christmas
Black Christmas
A Charlie Brown Christmas
The Santa Clause 2
A Christmas Story
The Family Stone
Mickey's Christmas Carol
March of the Wooden Soldiers
Gremlins

George C Scott aint got nothin on Michael Caine

Worry, Why Do I Let Myself Worry?

2009-11-29T22:13:00.009-05:00

I recently mentioned how I adore Jeff Bridges. If you've seen The Big Lebowski you can understand why. While that is certainly his most noteworthy role, I find him most appealing and sexiest in The Fabulous Baker Boys. His cool and aloof approach to acting is just the thing to pull in a cinefemme. His talents are varied and always on point, just watch the difference between The Fisher King and The Mirror Has Two Faces. The man can do anything, and with a face and physique like his, I would let him. But onto why I started this post. His new film, Crazy Heart, stirs many emotions in me that I can't quite filter through. The thing is, I'm not sure how I am going to react to this film. I usually can read a synopsis or see a trailer and at least roughly estimate where my opinion will fall. This one, however, has me stumped which is actually great cause I'm really excited to see it but torturing because I must resolve these mixed up emotions. Like I said, I love the Bridges. On the other hand, Saggie Gyllenhaal also stars and while I think her a fine actress, one of the best of her age group, I just don't enjoy her which may unbalance my affection for Jeff. BUT, Robert Duvall is a producer of the film (along with Bridges) and also a co-star which greatly increases the odds of me digging the film since I think he is the cat's pajamas. And yet, I saw Tender Merices which starred Duvall and won some Oscars and Crazy Heart seems very similar and may incite a been there, done that feeling (I won't even explore the similarities to The Wrestler). I'm just so unsure! I'm so confused! I must tame my own crazy heart (get it?!?!?) until the film's release.

Maybe Now We'll Finally Get A Third "Any Which Way" Movie!

2009-11-14T21:22:00.006-05:00

Though the French are French and by that I mean annoying, at least they appreciate Clint Eastwood. His status as a knight in the Legion of Honor was promoted to Commander this past week. I can see Clint now sitting in the back of a dimly lit cafe dressed all in black with a scarf around his neck, smoking Gauloises and with lips pursed saying "My ass is twitching, you people make my ass twitch". Wait, no, I see myself doing that, not Clint.

Who doesn't love this man.

I Wish I Were A Witch, I'd Shove My Broomstick Up Your Ass

2009-10-31T11:45:00.002-04:00

I love Halloween!

Red Is Romantic

2009-10-23T10:49:00.006-04:00

I'm sick of people talking about Socialism and Communism rearing it's ugly head in this country. I say shut up and bring on the Communism already. Bring on the revolution! How else am I going to find my one true love? How else but in a war torn country in the midst of despair and tragedy will I relish in my romantic saga? Let's do it America, let's make history. I want to meet my Dr. Zhivago.

What Is Up?

2009-10-17T12:43:00.003-04:00

At this point the continuation of this blog is most likely pointless but I'm really good at being pointless. I recently started a new job and the hours have flipped for me so it takes some getting used to. I'm not quite used to it yet but I will be. I have been really lax in keeping up with the film world and I can't say I have any interests in new films, or even know what's coming out other than Men Who Stare At Goats, and I'm sure you can guess why I want to see that. Also Jeff Bridges is in it and if you don't think he is one of the most underrated actors of his generation then you are a fool and should be slapped in the face. There's definitely a few things I am somewhat interested in, like how Raymond Carver's short story Why Don't You Dance will be translated into a feature film starring Will Ferrell titled Everything Must Go, or how I pray each day that the Academy will come to their senses and knock the Best Picture Nominee list back down to five because hey, this isn't 1939. But mostly I need to make serious time to reacquaint myself with the world. And by world, I mean Hollywood, which is way more appealing than the actual world.

It'd be pretty cool if it was 1939. That way I could hang with Gable.

Happy Birthday Darlin'

2009-09-23T20:54:00.008-04:00

So today is The Boy's birthday. And even though he has turned 60, and I'm only 28, I have always called him The Boy and always will. Let the countdown to the Jersey shows begin!

Everybody wants to see Bruce in Jersey

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

2009-09-18T00:17:00.002-04:00

So lately I have been preoccupied with writing Purpose Statements for Grad Schools. I have to decide what I want to do with my life, why I want to do it and how I want to do it. I don't know much, but what I do know is that I want to be Pauline Kael when I grow up. Kael is perhaps the most influential film critic EVER. Her approach to film criticism was personal and emotional. She was a true lover of cinema and never let the consensus of her peers sway her opinions. Born in 1919, Kael didn't begin her career until the 1950's, and only by happenstance. Prior to this she had been married multiple times, had a child she raised alone, worked odd jobs and led the life of a bohemian. Maybe it was due to her life experience that she was so honest and fearless in her writing. While many like Roger Ebert and A.O. Scott consider her their greatest influence, there were also many who criticized her style. While I don't agree with many of her opinions, I do find her remarkable and someone to emulate.

One of her most important reviews, Last Tango In Paris
http://www.criterion.com/current/posts/834

And a video that unless you're really into this sort of thing is going to be realllly boring for you.

Nobody Puts Swayze In A Corner

2009-09-14T20:24:00.007-04:00

You hear that God?!

He was the first man whose poster I put up on my wall. That sticks with a girl.

My best friend Kathryn and I taught ourselves this dance when we were 7. There was a lot of pausing and rewinding involved on the VCR and it took hours. I'm sure we got it wrong and it looked strange with us both dancing with an invisible partner, but I still know it. To this day when I go to a party I make sure I carry a watermelon.

Dirty Dancing

I'm Feeling Saucy

2009-09-12T12:07:00.003-04:00

Oh Glenn Ford and Rita Hayworth, the hottest couple ever, especially when there's slapping involved.

Hard to believe that woman gave birth to a child right before filming.

Everyday Is Silent And Grey

2009-09-11T12:58:00.005-04:00

O me! I hate this weather. Hate hate hate hate hate. The only thing that makes weather like this at all bearable is when you have the luxury of laying around all day and filling the void with familiar, comfy movies. I personally do not have this luxury. However, if I did, these are the ones I'm in the mood for.

Breakfast At Tiffany's
I start crying whenever I hear Moon River and there's no better time to cry than when it rains.

Singing In The Rain
The greatest movie musical ever made. Donald O'Connor kicks ass.

Une Femme Est Une Femme
I can watch Anna Karina all day.

The Owl And The Pussycat
Segal and Streisand are fantastic together.

Der Himmel über Berlin

2009-09-07T12:28:00.002-04:00

Between working, prepping for the GRE, looking for an apartment and a job AND having a screwed up wrist that hurts A LOT, this blog is suffering and will continue to suffer for some time. So be it.

Anyway, here's a clip from one of my favorite movies, Wings of Desire (it's English title). A Wim Wenders film, it is visually stunning , intensely emotional and delivers the wonderful absurdity of Peter Falk and Nick Cave in the same movie. It is far superior to it's American remake City Of Angels, hence why remakes are not good! But who am I kidding, I still like that one too, but no where near as much as this.

A Ewan McGregor Post? Now That's New.

2009-09-01T22:53:00.006-04:00

A male co-worker of mine brought up the movie A Life Less Ordinary tonight. I didn't think anyone else ever saw it. It was the third and final collaboration of McGregor and Danny Boyle. Boyle killed the magic when he sided with the studio's choice of Leo DiCaprio to star in The Beach over Ewan. Neither Ewan or myself have forgiven him. The film is about a cleaning man (McGregor) who gets fired and decides the best course of action is to take his boss's daughter (Cameron Diaz) hostage. Throw in some Angels, a dream sequence involving dancing to Bobby Darin, and Ian Holm and you got yourself a swell time. It's light-hearted and campy but cute and fun. And we all know how I feel about Ewan. Therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Glorious Basterd

2009-08-30T12:20:00.010-04:00

With fall on our heels and two of the most important film festivals about to commence, Toronto and Venice, the time has come to rev up the buzzers and start the race to the Oscars. While there isn't much to discuss yet, there are some boring obvies like Meryl and The Hurt Locker. The only buzz I care about so far is what should be a definite nomination for Christoph Waltz, "The Jew Hunter" in Inglourious Basterds. Yeah, I've been talking about things associated with this movie a lot lately, deal with it. If this man doesn't get a nomination for whichever category Big Man Weinstein decides to enter him for (either Lead or Supporting), I will lose all hope in cinema and might do what I've been threatening to do for a long time, chuck everything, move into the woods in Canada, grow my own beans and swim naked in a pond so I can see life through the eyes of a frog. This man's leap from obscurity in stage and European television to stealing one of the most anticipated ensemble films of the year is the stuff Hollywood dreams are made of. I'd give him the Lead Actor trophy right now if I had my way. But I fear the worst since the fuddy duddy Academy isn't that fond of Tarantino. My hope is that in 6 months when the nominations are chosen, the press will promote Waltz as strongly as they have been and the Academy will buckle under the pressure, as they so often do. Because this isn't about Tarantino, or the type of films he makes. This isn't about Weinstein and his insatiable appetite for accolades. It's about a working actor who has delivered one of the most fascinating performances ever on screen, one that will be talked about for a very long time to come, and that deserves lasting recognition. And while awards like Best Actor in Cannes are nice, the only one that sticks is the bald naked guy holding his sword. Waltz has certainly earned his naked guy.

Belle De Jour

2009-08-27T23:15:00.006-04:00

While discussing Inglourious Basterds and the exploitation films Tarantino has crafted his career paying homage to, my pal Anna and I decided there is a terrible lack of strong women in film today. And by a strong woman, we mean an independent, bad ass, doesn't have time for your crap and does what she wants kind of gal. It's not just exploitation films that supplied these ladies, if you list the most interesting female characters from Greek Theater to today, they are fearless, uninhibited, sometimes unhinged, but always magnetic women. The ingenue is alluring and graceful, but she's also usually vapid and boring. What we need is a resurgence of chicks in film who know how to have fun but aren't afraid of being taken seriously, will get the job done and if need be, beat your ass down.

Greta Garbo will shut you up.

Meow.

Charlotte Rampling exudes sexuality and confidence in every role. She's also always a little (or a lot) screwy.

Don't make her angry.

Brad, Why You Gotta Be A Basterd?

2009-08-23T00:52:00.005-04:00

A long long time ago, all the way back in 1994, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise famously had a rivalry while working together on Interview With The Vampire. On screen they had great chemistry but behind the scenes there was trouble, ala Vivenne Leigh and Clark Gable. Brad's loosey goosey demeanor did not mesh well with Cruise's stick in the ass ways, maybe it wasn't a stick, who knows. Well Brad it seems is stirring the pot once again by recently calling Tom Cruise's film, Valkyrie, ridiculous. I don't like this for two reasons. The first is that I don't like when actors, even ones that look like Brad Pitt run their mouth off about other artists in a demeaning way. Regardless of how famous and powerful you are, you should at least try to respect another's work, I mean hey, I've seen The Devil's Own and The Mexican. And second, the phrase "a Tom Cruise movie" and the word ridiculous are synonymous. We all know this, pointing it out is just a low blow, one I agree with, but a low blow just the same. I don't know, maybe Brad was just having a bad day, with 45 children that can happen. I won't hold it against him, after all, from the age of 13 to 15 I had intended on marrying him. Oh, and Inglourious Basterds is F*&^%*(ing Amazing.

To Inspire Myself, I Turn To Myself

2009-08-22T13:48:00.004-04:00

A few months ago I posted about Gentlemen Broncos. Here is the new trailer for what looks to be a movie I will watch many times over if only for Clement and Rockwell. Does anyone have a Cyborg Harpie outfit I can borrow?

He's Spartacus, Bitch!

2009-08-19T00:43:00.006-04:00

I was recently listening to the song Town Without Pity by Gene Pitney. It led my thoughts to the movie Town Without Pity and how cool Kirk Douglas was. It's also unfortunate how underappreciated he is today. Sure everyone accepts he is a legend, but unlike icons such as Paul Newman or Marlon Brando, most of his best work is largely ignored. His primary concern was to serve the art of filmmaking while still retaining entertainment value. He was a rebel, causing numerous uproars with studios, freeing himself from the traditional hold studios had over actors so he could have more control over his projects. He also formed his own production company in 1955. An actor and producer, he didn't take shit from no one and it showed in his work.

Here's a few of the must sees:
The Strange Love of Martha Ivers
Out Of The Past
Ace In The Hole
The Bad And The Beautiful
Paths Of Glory
Town Without Pity
Spartacus
Lonely Are The Brave

I first learned of Kirk Douglas when I was 5 and watched 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea all the time.

And a video of one of my fav crazy mo' fo's, Richard Harris speaking at Kirk Douglas' AFI tribute many years ago.

That Sound You Hear Is Peckinpah Rolling In His Grave

2009-08-17T23:41:00.004-04:00

Oh it has been too long me bloggy blog. Well I've been busy having fun on the Jersey Shore because it actually feels like summer lately! Now onto the important stuff.

My latest mansession is Alexander Skarsgard who plays Eric on True Blood. He's tall, buff and Swedish, three of my favorite qualities in a man. Not too long ago I read that he is co-starring in the remake of the 1971 Sam Peckinpah film Straw Dogs. The original was extremely controversial for it's use of graphic sex and violence, two of my favorite qualities in a film. It is one of Peckinpah's finest and had a vital impact on American cinema. The remake will be directed by Rod Lurie, whose work is lackluster. Why anyone would want to take on that daunting challenge is beyond me. The new version is afflicted with some "updates." David Sumner (James Marsden) is now a screenwriter from LA and his wife is from some redneck village in the deep south, both irksome changes. Skarsgard will play Charlie, the troublesome local with an attachment to David's wife Amy (Kate Bosworth, meh). This film will not be good. If it is good, it will be because of some strange movie miracle. Miracles are rare. I will see this film for two reasons. The first is Alexander Skarsgard. The second is Alexander Skarsgard's muscles.

Where the hell else are you gonna hear, "Now unleashes Dustin Hoffman!"??

I Don't Think You're Walkin Down The Line Man!

2009-08-09T16:57:00.006-04:00

So if you have hearing and/or eyesight, I'm sure you are aware of the 40th anniversary of Woodstock. I had a big thing for the 60's during the season of love revival in the early 90's when I was a young love child. I used to watch the film Woodstock repeatedly. That's where I fell for Arlo Guthrie, it was totes the fro, man. Soon after, his father's protege, Bob Dylan, captured my full attention. I still dig Arlo's fro though. Far out.

Thank You John Hughes

2009-08-08T02:28:00.008-04:00

You taught me it was cool to be a redhead and that being weird was pretty awesome.

And without you, C.W. Griswold would have never existed.

Genius and A Copy Of Genius

2009-08-05T13:25:00.005-04:00

Notice that this is one shot. One freakin shot!

And the Altman homage to Welles decades later.

I Have A Girl Crush On Leslie Mann

2009-08-03T01:17:00.005-04:00

That aside, Funny People was almost good, it had it's moments. The main problem with the film, however, is addressed in a clip from Knocked Up, ironically enough. Just substitute Funny People for Allison, minutes for pounds and a film editor for a gym membership.

For you numbskulls, no one in particular mind you, the movie was too damn long.

Do You Enjoooyy Knives?

2009-08-01T12:24:00.006-04:00

I've decided to randomly throw in clips of my favorite opening sequences, like my Trainspotting vid the other day. There will be no explanation of these openings, because if you can't see why they're so awesome then that's your problem. The one thing I will say is you won't see any stupid title sequences over pointless landscape pans that go on forever, and ever, and ever.

Harold and Maude, 1971

On The Rocks

2009-07-31T19:24:00.008-04:00

The other night I saw (500) Days of Summer. In the film, Summer mentions her childhood cat was named after Bruce, as in Springsteen. It reminded me of my beloved cat from my own childhood, Rocks. Rocks was the only cat I've ever had and one of the smartest animals I've ever met. He begged like a dog on his hind legs for food and to show us how happy he was at home, was always bringing in dead mice and full sized squirrels. From a cat that means a lot. Rocks was named after a character played by Humphrey Bogart in the film The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse. I never realized how dirty that title sounds until now. Well it's post-code and isn't dirty and is actually a delightful crime romp. It's early Bogart and Robinson when Bogart wasn't Bogart yet.

And Rocks, what a cool cat.

It's Positively Kaufmanesque

2009-07-31T13:44:00.008-04:00

It seems Sophie Barthes, the writer/director of the mediocre short Happiness from 2006 has been watching too many Charlie Kaufman movies. Her new film, Cold Souls, looks like the latest existential, illogical story with batty but lovable characters. As long as this movie emulates Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine and steers clear of Syndochynechynedo, New York, I think I'll be cool with it. Barthes has said she's annoyed by the comparisons, but hey, that's life. Paul Giamatti stars, which is always nice as, wait for it, Paul Giamatti! Craaaazy. He plays an actor in the middle of a production of Uncle Vanya that is torturing him. Now, working on any production of Chekov is both exalting and maddening because the whole time you are working with some of the best drama ever written, you also have to immerse yourself in the stark realization that life sucks. But Paul needs help just the same. Long story short, too late, he finds a company that can extract souls and pull a switcharoo. Well, wackiness ensues and turns poor Paul's world upside down. The film opens August 7.

Los Abrazos Rotos

2009-07-30T16:35:00.003-04:00

Pedro Almodovar is one of the most distinguished directors working today. Always impassioned and seductive, his films are hard to ignore even when you may not think the film is all that great, as in Bad Education, though I may be alone in that one. Pedro works best with his muse, Penelope Cruz. That rhymed so it must be true. Cruz is one of the finest actresses around and consistently chooses challenging material and is apparently afraid of nothing. Quietly, she has carved out one of the most envied careers in movieland today. Needless to say I am itching to see Broken Embraces, their latest endeavor which will be out sometime this fall. Well received at Cannes, the film is supposedly Almodovar's most introspective and complex. That oughta be fun deciphering.

For A Laugh...

2009-07-28T12:42:00.007-04:00

Here are some stills from Gyllenhaal's new movie The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, the film version of the video game and possibly the sequel to Brokeback Mountain, which is set for release May 2010. I've never been a fan of Jakey Poo, and this only affirms my disinterest. Yeah I like muscles, but only on men who don't look like my hairdresser.

Bitch mode.

I don't think he's happy with his riding mate, if ya know what I mean!

Ewanspotting

2009-07-27T12:04:00.001-04:00

Just because.

Good Vibrations

2009-07-24T00:35:00.005-04:00

For the past couple of years I've been gearing up to move out to LA. Unfortunately, Hathaway interceded and delayed my plans for some time. When I do eventually move, I expect my life to be like the beach party themed films from the 1960's. I don't care if the movie takes place in Cali (Beach Party, Gidget) or Ft Lauderdale(Clambake, Where The Boys Are), my life better be filled with impromptu sing alongs, bonfires and buff beach bums with names like Moondoggie and Kahuna. There is something so invigorating about an endless summer that makes me dread another winter here on the East Coast with every fiber of my being. Being Irish I can't tan, but with the advancement in spray tanning no one will ever know. These movies are drenched in cheese but are so much fun to watch and provide the perfect uplift in this awful east coast rainy weather.

So bad but oh so good.

The Great American Director

2009-07-23T16:30:00.008-04:00

It's amazing how easy it is to take John Ford's genius for granted. Sometimes when watching his films like The Quiet Man, I completely forget the magnitude of the man's talent and his remarkable imprint on cinema. He made it all look so simple that it's hard to truly grasp his weight without going over what he's done. A prolific director, producer, writer and actor, he made well over 100 films and is considered one of, if not the greatest director EVER. IN THE UNIVERSE. OF ALL TIME. His capability had no limits, best known for his westerns, he conquered almost every genre. He won six Oscars, pretty much defined American cinema and has influenced countless phenomenal filmmakers such as Kurosawa, Welles, Scorsese, Godard, Bertolucci, Leone and basically every other director ever. The man was also bad ass, known for his not so pleasant demeanor, there are more stories about him saying and doing crazy shit than Chuck Norris. He always wore the coolest dark glasses and eventually an eye patch, which is just awesome. Oh and he was super into being Irish.

If you have time to see all of Ford's films, go for it, if not then I've compiled a starter's list of a few of his best.

The Informer
The Quiet Man
Stagecoach
How Green Was My Valley
The Grapes of Wrath
The Searchers

Legend is the editor of The Quiet Man cried when he started work on the film because Ford had shot it so perfectly it didn't need editing. I had to link a clip because copyright infringement laws suck.

I Love Crazy Scenes!

2009-07-23T00:31:00.007-04:00

Some people may not get this post, many probably won't care. This is not about a movie, actor or play, it's about a magazine. So I'll keep it short and not at all sweet. If you read TONY (Time Out New York), can we talk about the moronic new issue? "The East Village: Where to Eat, Drink and Recapture Cool"?! Seriously? What's next week's, maybe "Brooklyn Is The New Manhattan"? I mean, did I get an accidental issue from a decade ago? Am I trapped in a time warp? That wouldn't be fun cause time warps are not at all like the dance in Rocky Horror. I know the magazine is usually filled with NY hipster cliches, but this has gone off the edge, where I am about to go if I continue on with this absurdity. I still fully support the avoidance of NYU students, however.

Let's face it, the East Side hasn't been really cool since the turn of the century. Those were heady times, my friends, heady times indeed.

Let The Nightmares Begin

2009-07-22T14:19:00.003-04:00

Update: So the great quality IGN vid I had up originally was pulled, I found this bad quality vid though, and it's still disturbingly creepy so that'll do.

&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=pt-br&amp;amp;amp;from=sp&amp;amp;amp;vid=44ad7500-98da-43a6-b7ec-2796f73849c9" target="_new" title="Trailer"&amp;amp;gt;Video: Trailer&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;

The Poster Poster For Posters

2009-07-20T22:12:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine that shall remain nameless wanted me to post about movie posters and their devolution into the vapid, commercially driven space wasters they are today. Back in the day, the good old day, movie posters were carefully designed as a work of art, not just for the function of representing a film. Today there are still some noteworthy posters created that should be valued, but they are increasingly becoming fewer and far between. That's why many vintage posters are worth hundreds to thousands of dollars. Tell me in 50 years someone is going to pay 800 dollars for a Transformers 2 poster and I will have to retreat to Bellevue for "exhaustion". Here's some posters that show how it's done.

And a great poster this year

There, Catie Mouton, are you happy? Ooops.

We'll Sun And Swim And Drink Beer

2009-07-19T01:22:00.003-04:00

Nothing in the cinema world has been grabbing my attention as of late. I've also been busy and too lazy to look into it. So if you know of anything compelling happening, let me know. Instead I've been watching films by one of my favorite directors, Igmar Bergman. Yes he's a legend and his films are exquisite and penetrating but they are also in my favorite language, Swedish. Because I'm actually much less severe than I come off, my favorite of Bergman's films is his lightest in mood, Smiles of a Summer Night from 1955. It is a beautiful film about love and sex and crazy times with some nutty Swedes. The film captures the passion of summer and the eagerness to relish every moment by those who are only given a brief time to do so each year. I think us northeasterners can relate given that we have winters that kill the soul. Now that we are in our own Midsummer, I suggest taking a look at how the Swedes do.

Worth The Price Of Admission

2009-07-14T00:32:00.004-04:00

Those of you who are gluttons for punishment and have read this blog in its entirety may have noticed that I have a thing for noting when I saw a film in the theater. This is because I don't just like watching movies, I love the entire experience of going to the movie theater. I love the ticket line, the popcorn scented cool air, the rocky uncomfortable seats and the hours of trailers prior to a film. Call me a masochist but I love it all. What I love most is the communal setting. This is why it saddens me that I often hear people saying they hate going to the theater. Now that technology has enabled us to turn our living rooms into private theaters, no one feels the need to go out of their way. Well that's techno cool and all but it's just not the same. Now, I have suffered horrid incidents with movie crowds and can understand the aversion. But, given the right location and film, the film house experience can equate to the best public activities, including live theater. A group of strangers sitting quietly in a dark room together, respecting each other and reacting in sync to a story unfolding before them is the ultimate form of cinema and though the occurrence may be rare, keeps me coming back, hoping to feel that magic again.

Poor theater manners scare away patrons!

Loco for Logos

2009-07-12T22:31:00.006-04:00

One of my favorite moments when watching a movie is the studio's opening logo. It's almost always the very first moment you have with a film and, depending on the logo's effectiveness, can really gear you up for some cinetime. There are countless companies with dull intros. There are a select few, however, that give me the chills and at sensitive times can even cause me to tear up a bit, go ahead and judge. While some iconic images have been around almost as long as film itself, such as Universal's Globe, all change with the times. I don't care if the film is White Chicks, if I catch one of these logos, I will undoubtedly take a second to engulf myself in the fleeting essence of Hollywood. Below are a few of my faves.

Castle Rock always wins the chills contest

Universal

So I may have cried a few times in Disney World during the fireworks, so what

Columbia

Dreamworks

The Big Kahuna

2009-07-11T13:54:00.003-04:00

The only good thing about living on the Jersey Shore is going Back To The Beach every day and night. See what I did there?!

Aaron, You're Breaking My Eckhart

2009-07-08T23:12:00.002-04:00

Really Aaron? I thought you would have learned your lesson with the 2007 flop No Reservations. Aaron, you are really cool, so cool that I forgave you for The Core and The Black Dahlia. I still have hope Aaron, I'm going to pretend this movie doesn't exist and skip right over to The Rum Diary and Rabbit Hole. In the meantime, I'm going to watch In The Company of Men and your scenes from Erin Brockovich.

I'd Rather Watch Deep Red Again

2009-07-08T00:24:00.005-04:00

The other night my friend and I were discussing the silliness of Dario Argento's new film being titled Giallo. Although much more complicated, Giallo is essentially an Italian film genre that began in the 1960's. It started with pulp crime mysteries and eventually evolved into thrillers and horror. Argento was basically one of the inventors of this genre. So him naming his film all these years later after the genre he contributed to so greatly is kinda funny. Also odd, the trailer for the film doesn't look all that Gialloish, which makes the title even more senseless. The film actually looks pretty bad. Adrien "One Man" Brody stars. Having seen The Jacket, I know that doesn't help matters but a lot of people like him so I figured I'd mention it.

Here's the new trailer. Aren't trailers supposed to make you want to see a film? Just checking.

Life With The Charleses

2009-07-06T20:25:00.002-04:00

There are many consequences to becoming a cinephile at an early age. One of the unfortunate side effects is believing life is like the movies. This is an awful way to grow up because all of your expectations for life's experiences are based on the grandeur of Hollywood. You are bound to be let down almost every time. Well I've come to accept life is not cinematic, though I struggle on occasion. One of my childhood fantasies that I still cling to is having a marriage like that of Nick and Nora Charles of The Thin Man comic mysteries. As a well to do married couple, they are fond of their money and alcohol and solve mysteries for fun. Played by Myrna Loy and the always lovable William Powell, their chemistry and playfulness is addictive. There are six films in the series, though the first is the best. As the most perfect couple that has ever existed, I recommend getting to know Nick and Nora.

The Thin Man(1934)

Merry Christmas Baby

2009-07-05T23:26:00.009-04:00

Life has been pretty hectic lately with what was basically a four day long July 4th celebration and me being so popular and all. So now that my readership has dwindled down even further due to my neglect, the one person that still reads this blog need not fear, I have many posts in the works as I type this. And by "in the works" I mean a bunch of random thoughts rattling around my head that I will most likely transfer just as randomly onto this blog. In the meantime, I wanted to discuss a phenomenon that occurs every year around this time. Christmas movies in July. I'm not sure if it's that cable channels sense the midsummer longing for the greatest holiday ever created or if it's just that they paid to play the damn movies and they're gonna play them. I realise there is a tradition of celebrating Christmas in July in many countries, I'm just not sure people want to watch Clark Griswold fix the newel post before heading to the beach, other than me of course. Christmas Vacation and Scrooged have been in constant rotation on HBO and at some point every July, the sassy Lifetime network plays a Christmas movie marathon. I know I'm crazy enough to indulge, but are there that many people so desperate for yuletide cheer they just can't wait another 5 months? I blame Rudolph and Frosty. Had they never made their 1979 special, Christmas in July, this TV seasonal confusion would not exist.

SANTA!

Partyman, Rock A Party Like Nobody Can

2009-06-29T22:14:00.020-04:00

Yesterday I was finally able to make it to the Francis Bacon (1909-1992) exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The retrospective spans the entirety of the British painter's career and offers tremendous insight into his austere work and life. The exhibit is remarkable, certainly the best I've ever been to in my short life. I highly recommend making the time to see it as it runs through August 16. Bacon has always been one of my favorite artists. I find it fitting to have seen this collection exactly twenty years after my first view of a Bacon piece. It was in the 1989 Batman film that his Figure With Meat (1953) captured my attention. Even as a child I was drawn to the abnormal and morbid. Speaking of, I can't believe it's been twenty years since Batman was released. I still remember seeing the film in theaters and falling madly in love with Michael Keaton, who is and will always be Batman, you hear that Bale?!

Bacon and Batman

And an interesting film about Bacon's later life with Derek Jacobi (that's right, Shakespeare lovers) as Bacon and a hot Daniel Craig as Bacon's delinquent lover and muse George Dyer

I would like to buy my favorite Bacon work, Triptych, 1976. Does anyone have 90 million dollars I can borrow? I'm good for it.

And Another Thing, Vonnegut!

2009-06-29T00:56:00.006-04:00

I know I haven't posted but I've been having a life, and staying out really late which is usually when I write my posts. Don't worry the 3 people who read this, I have a good one coming. Meanwhile, while driving home from the train station this evening, I was listening to my 80's mix and Oingo Boingo's Dead Man's Party came on. I was reminded of the 1986 film Back to School starring Rodney Dangerfield. The band, led by Danny Elfman (the same Elfman who composes the music for all of Tim Burton's films) was featured in the film. I saw this movie in theaters when I was 5 and it is still one of my favorites. I honestly can't even judge whether it's entertaining objectively. All I know is that it's a fast paced clever film, introduced me to James Joyce and Kurt Vonnegut is in it, so watch it. I also heard somewhere there might be an Oingo Boingo reunion, which is totally rad!!!

Here's a spliced clip of the band's scene in the film. I couldn't find the full scene because some losers took the vids down for violation. The full scene is tubular.

And the Vonnegut scene.

You Crazy Man, I Like You, But You Crazy

2009-06-24T15:04:00.010-04:00

An Open Letter To Sean Penn,

Mr. Penn, you crazy. And I don't mean in a crazy awesome way. It used to just be your ironic shyness and fierce temper that gave you your edge but somewhere along the line you went full blown, balls out crazy. I've learned to deal with your episodes because you're such a magnetic performer. Like when you said that movies should be used as tools for learning and there's no room for fun and entertainment. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Or when you went to New Orleans with a shotgun to save everybody from their horrible plight. Oh, and when you went to Iran to save the Middle East, nice job by the way. I'm not going to mention your private life because I don't want you coming to my house and beating me up. You are a passionate man and I respect that, most people lack passion. But what the Hell is this I hear about you dropping out of the Farrelly Bros' Three Stooges movie?! Because you need a break? You need some time with your fam? Ok cool, I get it, but how about completing the film and then chillaxing. Now, truth be told I don't really have an invested interest in this film other than feeling with you as Larry, Jim Carrey as Curly and Benicio Del Toro as Moe, magic was on the horizon. My imagination runs wild with the myriad possibilities that could be born from you working together for months on end. Also, I feel really bad for the Farrelly Brothers who haven't made a really good movie in, oh, a decade (which is also how long they've been trying to make this film btw, don't you feel bad now?) and were probably freakin psyched to have you on board to help them break their streak. You gave them the production postponement option sure, but that's a burdensome decision to make. Besides, maybe the rumors about Paul Giamatti stepping in will come to fruition and wouldn't that be splendid. In fact, maybe you should personally contact Mr. Giamatti and persuade him to take your place. I'm sure you'd succeed, you didn't win those two Oscars for nothing. After all, you've created this mess. Before you embark on your year long sabbatical, let's make things right. No, it's not putting an end to war, or saving our planet, but it's a nice act just the same. Do it for the Farrelly's, do it for Larry, but most of all, do it for your crazy ass self. That is all.

With Love,
Me

At Last The Darkness Has Come

2009-06-22T22:38:00.009-04:00

For a couple years now rumors have been circulating that Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are planning a film version of the popular 1966 "gothic soap opera" Dark Shadows. Lately, however, the possibility has become more than speculation with both Burton and Depp acknowledging the project in interviews. Depp's production company, Infinitum-Nihil (seriously Johnny?) owns the rights. Depp will most likely star as the immortal patriarch Barnabus Collins. Ladies, this means that Johnny Depp could soon be a vampire. Outstanding. Dark Shadows follows the unusual Collins family and their shenanigans involving vampires, zombies, witches, and so on. The show garnered a loyal fan base during it's run from 1966-1971. There was even a failed attempt to revive the series in 1991. I want this film to happen. It's okay I wasn't thrilled with Sweeney Todd. It's also ok that Anne Hathaway is in Alice In Wonderland. I have faith in the boys and Depp as a vampire is more than enough to make good.

Vintage Dark Shadows.

And here's how Johnny Depp WILL NOT look as Barnabus. This image haunts my dreams.

Hairless Pets...Weird

2009-06-19T00:42:00.008-04:00

With Ghostbusters 3 coming closer to realization every day, I have been reminded that it's been 20 years this month, June 16th to be exact, since Ghostbusters 2 was released. Sure it wasn't as good as the first, but I didn't know that when I saw it in the movie theater as an 8 year old. I thought it was awesome. Who am I kidding, I still watch it whenever it's on TV even though I own both films. Hey, it's WAY better than Caddyshack 2, God that sucked. I find it strange that it was released in the summer, considering the film takes place during New Year's. That probably wouldn't fly today, as most films are released within the season the film is predominantly set in. It was the 80's, wacky shiz happened. I have the highest hopes for the 3rd installment with the original cast. As far as I know there is no certain director as of yet. Ivan Reitman needs to accept his duty and confirm himself. Let's get this slow ass ball rolling!

A little sliced up action.

I'll Stick With HBO

2009-06-18T02:06:00.005-04:00

A few years back, movie theaters began playing television show promos before the trailers. Since I don't watch basic cable TV shows, this is the only time I see what's new in the commercial filled TV world. I have noticed promos have become more and more daft over the years. The two below, however, take the cake. Enjoy.

This is just one of the many absurd promos for The Cleaner. He's listening.

And here's the new show Hawthorne, more than a really terrible promo. Or not.

The Horror...The Horror!

2009-06-15T20:37:00.008-04:00

My favorite horror film is the original 1978 Halloween. Two years ago, when Rob Zombie's remake was completed, I looked forward to seeing it. In the world of depraved B-horror film's, Zombie's former movies satisfy and so I expected to enjoy the new vision. I was severely disappointed. It was the most insipid, moronic horror movie I've been subjected to in a long time. And I watch a lot of bad horror movies. I couldn't even savor it ironically, which I'm really good at. But, since my opinions are insignificant in the cinema universe, the sequel remake and remake's sequel, H2 is in it's final stages of production and will be heading into theaters August 28. Who knows, maybe it will surprise me, there's no uber-annoying chubby redneck young Michael to suffer through this time, which automatically makes this one superior.

Personally, I'd be happy if the whole film revolved around Uncle Seymour Coffins, host of Haddonfield's Creature Double Feature.
Coffins promo 1

Allow Me To Reiterate

2009-06-11T20:49:00.003-04:00

Zach Galifianakis rocks.

Conversations on the Craft - Zach Galifianakis from Zach Galifianakis

Shudder To Think

2009-06-11T17:27:00.008-04:00

I Sometimes find similarities that only I see in films. I once decided The Dark Knight was Apocalypse Now's little brother. I just watched the new trailer for Shutter Island, the latest Scorsese/DiCaprio collaboration. While watching the preview, I was reminded of two films, The Shining and The Wicker Man. Though the original 1973 Wicker Man is terrifically deviant, this trailer is more akin to the pitiful 2006 remake with Nicolas Coppola Cage, only a lot more promising. Shutter Island is tagged as a mystery/thriller but appears more along the lines of a vamped up B-horror film, which is cool with me. Scorsese did the same thing with the campy crime genre in The Departed. Though I have not read the novel Shutter Island is based on, I do know the story takes place during the 1950's at an asylum for the criminally insane on a remote island. It already sounds scarier than when De Niro ripped that girl's face off with his teeth in Cape Fear. But, since we all know you never judge a film by it's trailer, who knows what the actual film will bring. Talk about a mystery.

Shutter Island trailer:

The best trailer of all time:

And a great example of why remakes should be prohibited:

This Zack Is With A K

2009-06-10T02:16:00.003-04:00

Someone needs to explain the benefits of short and sweet to Jimmy Fallon, but I might tune in to a Saved By The Bell reunion.

Just Give Me The Lighthouse Attendant

2009-06-09T23:23:00.005-04:00

Last Friday I finally got to see The Hangover. It was hilarious. This isn't a review of The Hangover, there are lots of those out there. I just wanted to comment on how one of my favorite people on the planet, Zach Galifianakis, is getting the more notable film roles he deserves. His genius is an acquired taste, admittedly. He is awkward, creepy, hairy, edgy and batty. But all of his quirks combined create an irresistibly charming man. He has been around for quite some time with numerous comedy specials, small roles in tv shows and films and even had his own very brief late night talk show. He is well known for his comedy but is just starting to become more prominent in film, which is long overdue. Last year he starred in the indie Visioneers, which will be released on dvd in July. It confirms his ability to carry a film, albeit the right kind of film. Now with The Hangover and several other projects, including The Hangover 2?! in the works, it seems there will soon be many more people screaming "Hey Everybody! Here Comes The Choo Choo!!!" on the L train.

Here's a short from last year Zach made with Tim and Eric for Absolut Vodka. How could this guy not be a movie star!?!?!

This Is Very Midsummer Madness

2009-06-08T16:58:00.005-04:00

I was going to post my already written piece on Zach Galifianakis and how cool and awesome he is. Well I have to post about the new Public Theater Shakespeare in the Park production instead. So it's gonna be Twelfth Night. BORING. They just did this in 2002. I know there's a limited canon to work with but I was never particularly fond of Twelfth Night to begin with. But that's not the news that matters. What I am psycho over right now is that my main man, Mr. Raul Esparza will be starring as the lovelorn Orsino. In addition, Daniel Sullivan is directing, who directed Raul in The Homecoming last year, which was fantastic. I am at the moment completely flushed, that's how extreme this news is for me. Though not new information, I just learned this today which helps me cope with his losing the Tony last night to Geoffrey Rush. I'm not even going to go there. As I said, I don't really care for Twelfth Night, but I would watch Raul do his taxes for two hours, or longer. I would pay too. And that's where this becomes difficult. Shake in the Park is free, but getting tickets is a rigamarole. You have to sign up online at night, wait all day, drown a possum, dance naked under a full moon, it's complicated. Usually I pass on the shows because the process is too overwhelming. Well this time I am going. If I have to scrub the Delacorte Theater with a toothbrush while dressed like Leigh Bowery, I will make it happen. I plan on going more than once too, I'm crazy like that. Oh, and Anne Hathaway (no, close friends of mine, the real Anne Hathaway) is in it too, yay.

For fun, here's a clip for theater geeks of two Broadway stars on the now defunct show Pushing Daisies. I never watched the show, but Raul was on two episodes as a travelling salesman, Alfredo who is in love with Kristen Chenoweth's character, Olive.

Ready To Take A Chance Again?

2009-06-06T01:05:00.014-04:00

There's nothing better than when you are exhausted, relaxing in your bed and one of your favorite movies happens to be on TV. This happened to me early last night with the 1978 film Foul Play starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase. Hawn plays a San Francisco librarian named Gloria, who after a divorce lives a conservative, boring life. One day she decides to take a chance and picks up a handsome man named Scotty whose car broke down. This begins a chain of events that include midgets, albinos, a sexual pervert, the opera and the Pope. And if you're not already interested in this movie I feel sorry for you. The suspense comedy balances it's thrills with it's tongue and cheek nature. Though the film strives for a Hitchcockian atmosphere, it resembles McMillan and Wife more so than Vertigo, but the dated 70's vibe adds to it's appeal, especially for those who dig the 70's like me, man. Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase, the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks of the late seventies, are perfect co-stars. While their witty banter is certainly amusing, the funniest moments are supplied by Dudley Moore(in his first American movie), Burgess Meredith and the completely politically incorrect scene I posted below. The movie is silly and cliché yet endearing and definitely worth taking a chance on.

Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It!

2009-06-03T13:43:00.002-04:00

While sitting in Barnes and Noble yesterday, I was notified of Winona Ryder’s confirmation on a sequel to the 1988 controversial teenage film Heathers. This sequel will reunite Ryder and her costar Christian Slater as an “Obi Wan like character” whatever that means. According to an interview Winona recently did with Empire magazine, the sequel is definitely happening and both original screenwriter and director Dan Waters and Michael Lehmann are involved but for “some reason” will not talk about it.

Ryder has been mentioning a Heathers sequel for years and consistently Waters denies it. Whatever happens, it’s fun to speculate how the hell JD (Slater) is going to come back from the dead without it being utterly redonkulous. I first saw Heathers when I was 11 which explains a lot about me. I've seen it countless times since then and still feel the need to yell out Corn Nuts! BBQ! whenever I'm around a 7 Eleven. The film pushed every possible boundary while being completely self-deprecating. It also taught me the invaluable lesson that teenage suicide is wrong. Let's all take the time to send out good vibes to the Heathers sequel, hoping it won't turn into the worst mistake ever made since Heather Chandler decided to drink JD's hangover concoction.

The chemistry between Veronica and JD is palpable! Well, as palpable as two jaded, apathetic teens can get.

Two Week Count Down

2009-06-01T17:41:00.004-04:00

If you've met me, you know me like the Vampires. It all began when I was 13 and saw Interview with The Vampire, fell madly in love with Brad Pitt and immediately started reading The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. I'm stuck on the nocturnal creatures, especially the hot male ones. While I consider myself an Anne Rice loyalist and do not read other Vampire related literature, when it comes to film/tv I will watch anything with a sexy Manpire. I even watched Twilight, but let me say Vampires DO NOT SPARKLE!!! And when they do decide to walk into sunlight, their flesh begins to smolder and they soon end up a little pile of ashes and goo which you then have to spread around so they aren't reanimated into some sort of horrid demented being. Where was I? Oh yeah, I am a huge fan of True Blood. The show first aired during a time when I had a lot of time on my hands and while I would love to say I used that time effectively to read Proust and learn Tai Chi, I actually occupied my time by watching Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse make out, get caught in perilous situations, then make out some more. The show exudes what people love about Vampires. It's decadence is offset by it's campiness. It's characters are sincere but the show itself is not. I am hyper-psyched that season 2 starts June 14th at 9pm. The great thing about HBO is that it plays each episode about 92 times in a week, which means I can watch it 92 times each week. AND I WILL.

It Takes A Red Headed Woman...

2009-05-31T20:22:00.007-04:00

Something wonderful has happened. My fellow redhead Nicole Kidman has finally dyed her phony bleached out mane back to her natural hue. Thank You Jesuuuus!!!! I almost gave up hope. I came so close to crossing her name off my list of redhead comrades. For the past few years she has been addicted to having more fun as a blonde. At first the flaxen change was refreshing and seemed to fit her. Temporarily. After the second day the novelty wore off. That’s not to say she ever looked bad. The woman looks way better on her worst botox injected day than the majority of the population on their best. The blonde hair was just too severe for her pale complexion. I can feel the world’s collective sigh of relief over the return to her ginger ways. This hairdo miracle may be attributed to her new movie Rabbit Hole, which supposedly starts filming June 1st. The film, adapted from the play of the same name focuses on a couple whose lives are destroyed after losing a son in an accident. John Cameron Mitchell directs which is both peculiar and alluring. With his two previous directorial endeavors being Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Shortbus, the story of Rabbit Hole is a far cry from transvestite rockers and orgy loving hipsters. His talents do however lie in examining the lives of those who feel removed from their environment and struggle to escape their present existence. There’s no doubt Kidman and co-star Aaron Eckhart will thrive on the heart-wrenching material. However the film turns out I’m satisfied simply with Nicole’s return to the grandeur of crimson.

I Didn't Know Will Oldham Is In This!?

2009-05-30T14:13:00.015-04:00

Although the trend existed prior to, since the astounding success of the 2006 film Little Miss Sunshine it seems we can’t go longer than a few months without seeing a new indiefied family centered dramedy making it’s way to theaters. I loved LMS and appreciate it’s existence in this world. I am also a proponent of independent cinema even when it’s not all that independent. However, in no way whatsoever am I inclined to see the latest addition to this particular genre, Sam Mendes’ Away We Go. I haven’t put my finger on why as of yet. Okay, I lied, I might have put my finger on a couple of reasons. First and foremost being John Krasinski. I don’t watch the American version of The Office because I’m a snob and was a huge fan of the original version and just can’t let that go. I have watched a few episodes and I think I just can’t get past that Krasinski is not the brilliant Martin Freeman, yet is getting all the attention for what is essentially the same role. It’s not that Krasinski is a bad actor, he isn’t, for me it’s just one of those things where you don’t dislike the person, you just don’t really like the person. Next is that I’m really tired of the whole affected indie vibe plaguing a movie with no other motive than to be considered hip. I understand the couple in the film are supposed to be a little eccentric, but really, do we need the hipster beard and the ugly wardrobe? I know the screenplay is written by Dave Eggers and his wife, but why does it have to be packaged like it’s original title was Juno 2: This Time They Keep It. Now on to the film’s saving grace, Sam Mendes. If anyone can make a film that portrays a boring couple striving to endure the monotonous world they live in interesting, it is he. I saw American Beauty and Revolutionary Road, I know what’s up. There's also a great supporting cast with Alison Janney, Jim Gaffigan, Jeff Daniels, Catherine O'Hara and a former crush of mine, Josh Hamilton. This is why I will give in and watch Away We Go eventually. The film will be in limited release June 5. I will wait until I can rent it on VHS. What can I say, I’m hip like that.

These Guys Know How To Party!

2009-05-28T22:07:00.010-04:00

Word on the street is that the world will finally get what it’s been waiting far too long for. Wolverine and James Bond together on Broadway. Now wipe the tears of joy from your eyes as I explain. Apparently Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig have signed on to star together in the Keith Huff drama A Steady Rain. A play of only two characters, it centers on two Chicago cops examining themselves and their lifelong friendship after committing a grave error in returning a young Vietnamese boy to a man they believe to be his uncle after responding to a domestic dispute call. They later discover the “uncle” was in fact a serial killer and the young boy his latest victim. This is very similar to one of the many close calls serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer had with the police. During the actual incident, Dahmer told the police the boy was his drunken homosexual lover (he was actually delirious from acid placed inside drilled holes in his head) and the po-po walked the boy back into Dahmer’s apartment without questioning him or searching the apartment. Had they searched, they would have found not only vats of acid with disintegrating human remains, but also a human torso sitting in the tub. But I digress. Needless to say, the play delves into some gritty issues. I do find it interesting that they’ve picked a Brit and an Australian to play two blue collar cops from Chi-town but I don’t doubt either actor's competency. If you watched the accompanying video to my X-men Origins: Wolverine post earlier this month, you would have seen Hugh Jackman in action on Broadway. Don’t get your hopes up, there’s no man on man make out scene this time round. Yet. Daniel Craig on the other hand hasn’t been involved in theater in years but started out on the London stage. I hope the rumors are true cause this could become one of the most captivating dramas on The Great White Way. And by captivating, I mean hot and sexy. I kid, obviously I’m excited because of the compelling dialogue, the arduous circumstances and the combined talents of two of the finest actors today. With their shirts off. Hopefully.

Witches Be Crazy

2009-05-26T16:47:00.005-04:00

Today is Stevie Nicks' birthday. Anyone who has met me knows I have had a little obsession with her since adolescence. I was even her for Halloween one year. Sure she's a nutbar, but a nutbar with a gorgeous voice and looks to match. The woman wasn't afraid to do what she wanted. She got a lot of flack over the years for her love of wicca, drugs and male musicians. She was a rock star in the 70's, what the hell else was she supposed to do.

Here's a video of Fleetwood Mac performing Rhiannon in 1976 on The Midnight Special. Gotta love the hair.

Hot and Hostile

2009-05-26T15:19:00.004-04:00

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

The Beautiful Confusion

2009-05-25T18:44:00.012-04:00

I’ve been trying to put off posting about Nine, the film based on the musical of the same name, but I can’t wait any longer. The film’s new trailer makes me shiver with antici….pation, Dr. Frankenfurter style. It is important not to compare Nine to 8½, the 1963 film the musical is based on. There is no way it can compete with Fellini and I’m sure it won’t try to. Here are a few reasons this film, which will be released this November, will most likely rock your Italian cashmere socks off.

Daniel Day Lewis stars as the dashing Italian movie director Guido, who is suffering from a midlife crisis Euro-style. He will be phenomenal because he is always phenomenal, duh.

Rob Marshall is the director. Marshall helmed the 2002 film Chicago, based on one of the most popular musicals of all time. It won the Best Picture Oscar that year. By casting an unexpected mix of actors, Marshall managed to translate the spectacle of stage to film without it becoming contrived or ridiculous.

All the pretty ladies in Guido's life. Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz and Kate Hudson, all radiant actresses. Ok, so we’re not so sure about Kate Hudson but the rest have proved themselves in past projects. Each should counter Daniel Day splendidly.

And lastly, because everyone knows the trailer always represents the film perfectly!

Festival de Cannes

2009-05-23T13:51:00.006-04:00

The Cannes film festival wraps up tomorrow. Cannes is the only festival I follow closely. It’s not because it’s French, I actually follow it despite that. What I appreciate is that it never pretends to be something it isn’t like many other festivals that will remain nameless do. Cannes basks in its own glory and loves to love itself. It is French, after all. Most years I am delighted with the award winners. Other years I feel like Mugatu from Zoolander, like I’m taking crazy pills (Elephant winning in 2003 for example and I almost gave up hope for good when Fahrenheit 9/11 won in 2004). Overall, I look towards Cannes for a bit of enlightenment on the International film circuit. Films In Competition contend for various awards, the topper being the Palme d’Or. This year’s list of competitors is one of the most exciting in years. Personally, I can’t wait to see Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist, which could possibly be the most disturbing film cinema has seen in a very long time. Since I’m also a sucker for any movie set in nineteenth century Europe, Jane Champion’s Bright Star based on John Keats’ relationship with Fanny Brawne is quite enticing. Regardless of who wins, I have a group of new films to add to this year's must see list, which is nice.

Here is the trailer for Antichrist

It Is Not The Critic Who Counts

2009-05-22T22:28:00.010-04:00

The funny thing about nepotism is that while it is pleasantly advantageous for one's offspring, it is usually unbearably irritating for everyone else. The strongest example of this is the success of film critic Ben Lyons. Ben Lyons’ father is the well respected film critic Jeffrey Lyons. Ben Lyons is not his father. This is old hat, I know but I just needed to get it off my chest after recently seeing him on one of his many shows. It is impossible to avoid him. He owns a production company, hosts the film review show At the Movies made famous by Roger and Ebert, and also works as a correspondent for the E! network. I don’t want to be hard on the guy, it’s tricky enough to make your mark in this world without people making fun of you and constantly pointing out that you have no talent or taste and only work because of your father…but, uh, you can’t fight the truth. I accept the fact that many industries allow the undeserving to succeed, Hollywood being the reigning champ at this. Nevertheless, film criticism necessitates standards. A critic's opinions should be considered dependable by his audience. This is accomplished by the use of intelligent arguments based on a substantial knowledge of cinema and an appreciation of film as an art form. There is no room for dudes who think Vin Diesel movies are totally awesome man! Contrary to popular belief, I am not such a snob that I don’t enjoy a relaxed approach to film comment. Anyone who reads my juvenile blog can see that. But critics are already unduly considered the bastard children of the creative world. They certainly don’t need Ben Lyons parading around, confirming that a critic's voice is worth nothing.

Here's a clip of Lyons showing us what a film critic is all about.

Meet Mr. Montgomery

2009-05-21T18:30:00.003-04:00

Today is Robert Montgomery’s birthday. Robert Montgomery happens to be my favorite actor ever. EVER. He was most popular during the 1930’s and 40’s. Mostly forgotten today compared to icons like Cary Grant and Clark Gable, he is just as charming and delightful to watch as any of the famous leading men of the golden era. He was generally typecast as the playboy in various female star vehicles and starred in numerous screwball comedies. Although he never received the recognition or the roles he deserved, he certainly made more than a few notable films. He was nominated twice for an Academy Award, both times in the Lead Actor category. His demeanor was easy and light, infusing his performances with a smoothness which may have been overlooked in an era fixated on drama and theatricality. In addition to being an actor, he was an accomplished director of both stage and screen, a writer, producer, and was even a political image consultant. He was president of the Screen Actors Guild twice. On top of all that, he was Elizabeth Montgomery’s father, which if you were a fan of Bewitched, is reason enough to like him. Oh, he was also devastatingly handsome. It’s almost impossible to view his catalogue of over 50 films. Only a handful are available for purchase on DVD. On occasion, TCM will play a few of his lesser known works (today the channel ran a birthday tribute marathon). In the past I have tracked down VHS copies of a few of his films on the internet. You can borrow them if you’d like. I suggest taking the time to look into his work when you can.

Some of Monty’s must sees:
Night Must Fall
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Meet Mr. Jordan
Private Lives
They Were Expendable

Here’s a clip from my FAV film of his from 1934, Hide Out with the gorgeous Maureen O’Sullivan, Mother of Mia Farrow. RM plays a NYC gangster who is wounded and runs away to the country. Of course he winds up with an unknowing family that includes a beautiful young girl who nurses him back to health. God I love this movie.

Whither Goest Thou, America

2009-05-20T14:36:00.004-04:00

I remember back a long, long time ago when the first Harry Potter film was being cast there was a stipulation that only British actors would be allowed to be in the film for keepin it realz purposes. The reasoning behind this was, at the time, many felt American actors were taking away roles that rightly belonged to the British culture. My, my how the tables have turned. It seems now there are British and Australian actors abound who take plenty of roles that are American. Let me say I don’t have a problem with this. Most of my favorite actors are British and always have been. I do however have a problem with double standards. Besides, I can spot a Brit doing an American accent just as easily as an American pretending to be British. Americans just don’t articulate that intensely. Anyhoo, I think it is interesting that this is being reflected in the film adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road. The film will be directed by Walter Salles, the director of The Motorcycle Diaries. So far the only actor attached is Sam Riley, who is best known for portraying Ian Curtis in the biopic Control. It is not clear as to which character he will be playing but I can only assume it will be Sal, the novel’s narrator and Kerouac’s pseudonym. Riley was very good in Control and is a fine young strapping boy. I just wonder if choosing Non-American actors for a film which is based on a novel that is quintessentially American will work in the film’s favor. I think anyone will admit that the American experience is deeply different from the British one. I know it’s acting, aka pretending, but let’s face it, if I wanted to trot on over to England and join the Royal Shakespeare Company, I don’t think they’d look very fondly on me no matter how good of an actor I was. There is a basic inherent familiarity one must turn to when performing. Casting actors that do not have this quality could very well weaken the essence of the story. This film adaptation is going to be hard enough to pull off as it is. It will most likely end up detached from the novel. But I would rather see it attempt to be as true a representation of the story as possible rather than isolate itself from the start. I’m curious to see what will happen. But if I find out one day that Danielle Radcliffe is playing Dean Moriarty there is going to be trouble. A lot of it.

We All Hope. It’s What Keeps Us Alive.

2009-05-16T14:07:00.007-04:00

I’m not the biggest fan of theater. I hate most musicals. There are playwrights I enjoy and try to attend whenever their plays are performed. There are also actors I greatly admire for their work onstage. There is one particular actor, however, who is possibly the most thrilling actor on stage today. Raul Esparza is nominated for a 2009 Tony for Best Leading Actor in a Play for his work in Speed the Plow. Raul better win that Tony. That’s not a threat, it’s just what better happen. I will leave it at that. He tackles dramas and musicals alike and performs with equal brilliance. He has consistently given phenomenal performances for years in plays such as Pinter’s The Homecoming and Sondheim’s Company. His ability to fill a stage as soon as he walks upon it is a quality that can not be learned but is purely innate and magical. Having been nominated numerous times but never winning, Raul earned this Tony. I saw Speed the Plow twice, at the beginning of it’s run with Jeremy Piven as his co-star, and at the end of it’s run with William H. Macy after Piven got “sick”. Both times Raul performed with a palpable energy while tailoring his performance to engage with his cast mate. Rarely an actor in a play of only three characters is forced to rearrange the entire balance of a production halfway through it’s run. Raul did this seamlessly and deserves to be awarded just for that. I hope the Tonys recognize this on June 7th. After that, all I will need to know is what show Raul will be dominating next.

Here is a clip from the 2006 revival of Company. Warning, it's a musical so there's singing. Just watch it.

Random Chance Seems To Have Operated In Our Favor

2009-05-15T12:36:00.001-04:00

I was not dragged, but voluntarily went to see Star Trek last night. Having never watched Star Trek except for some repeat episodes on WPIX when I was little, I have no idea how it stacks up for Trekees, Treks, Tekkkies, whatever. The cast was seemingly fitting for such well known characters, especially Spock played by Droogie, I mean Zachary Quinto. The pace was fast, avoiding the horrid self-indulgence that’s prevalent in so many action films today. I’d write some more but let’s face it, no one cares what I think about Star Trek and I need to concentrate on tonight’s rendezvous with Mr. McGregor!

Ambition Should Be Made Of Sterner Stuff

2009-05-14T12:40:00.006-04:00

A few months ago I read there is the intention of making the former HBO tv series Rome into a feature film. I am as giddy as a school girl at the prospect of this happening. Being an enthusiast of virtually anything that takes place in ancient times, I watched Rome religiously for the two brief seasons it aired. What made the show groovy was it’s balance of the raunchy and violent material without seeming vile. The cast was terrific lead by Kevin McKidd as the heroic everyman Lucius Vorenus. The story lines were ludicrous in the best way possible and the sets and costumes were consistently dazzling. I’m impatiently awaiting information on the new plot and characters since the show ended with basically everyone dead, with the exception of Titus Pullo and possibly Lucius. There’s no doubt the absence of Cirian Hinds(Julius Ceasar) and James Purefoy(Marc Anthony), who contributed greatly to the show’s attraction will have an effect. Also, film versions always need to be bigger and better. I imagine finding the right blend of actors and story lines that will live up to, let alone be better than the series will be tricky. But if we’ve learned one thing from Hollywood it’s that anything’s possible. And with the film being slated for release in 2011, there’s enough time to accomplish this feat.

Ahhh, the endless love between Lucius and Titus. Warning, the video is awesomely violent.

Turner Classic Movies and then some.

2009-05-13T15:52:00.003-04:00

I am an avid viewer of Turner Classic Movies. Whenever I need my classic movie fix, which is often, I turn to TCM. Most of the day’s schedule is devoted to celebrated classics of bygone eras. My favorite time to watch though is between the hours of 12am and 6am. This is when TCM is inclined to play the more obscure films that never see the light of day on cable. It’s at these ungodly hours that the line up includes silent films, indies of the 50’s and 60’s and the notorious films of the 70’s. Yeah ok, I have a netflix account and could just rent a bunch of these movies but where’s the fun in that? I love being surprised by a movie I haven’t thought about in a while or maybe see one I haven’t before. Insomnia nights have their advantages. Do some laundry, get a little extra work done and sit back and enjoy a quality film on TCM.

I think they're turning Japanese, I really think so

2009-05-11T13:56:00.002-04:00

Occasionally actors tend to get carried away with themselves. No, I’m not talking about Lindsay Lohan. I’m talking about actors whose majority of work I respect and enjoy. But sometimes…oh, sometimes these actors partake in something I like to call Thespian Masturbation. This is when actors decide to sign on to a film that allows them to fully immerse themselves in, well, themselves. It’s in these films actors see the opportunity to relive the days they studied prerequisite Acting I and can delight themselves with acting exercises until they can’t see straight. What is unfortunate about this is that most of the time the film is boring as Hell. Yes, it can work great like in Castaway or basically every Johnny Depp film. But what about The Terminal? Don’t get me wrong, I get why actors sign on, who doesn’t love to work on their craft? I'm not sure if I get who backs it though. Ok, so some of these movies read great on paper, thus their appeal. Some seem oh so unique they just scream Academy, thus their appeal. And some, well, who knows what darkness lies in the hearts of greenlighters.

A few more films that make baby Jesus cry:
Funny Games
Wendy and Lucy
Birthday Girl
Reservation Road
Seven Years in Tibet

Summer Movies Make Me Feel Fine

2009-05-09T02:08:00.000-04:00

Now that I’ve covered what movies being released this summer entice me, I wanted to list some summer themed movies that I saw as a kid and still love to watch every summer. Each of these embody the essence of summer for me.

After watching these at a drive-in or some other outdoor screening, the best way to view them is on a hot night with your windows wide open. I also love when I wake up early in the morning on a weekend and one of these happens to be on TV.

Jaws

The summer classic. There isn’t much else I can say about this other than, Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies, farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain.

One Crazy Summer

Great absurd humor from the same dude who wrote and directed Better Off Dead, which also starred John Cusack. The movie follows Cusack and his group of peculiar friends as they find themselves in wacky situations in Nantucket. The title isn’t just a clever name.

The ‘Burbs

Before Tom Hanks became Tom “Two Consecutive Oscars” Hanks, he starred in mostly light-hearted comedies like Splash, The Money Pit and Turner and Hooch, all great 80’s movies. The best for me though is The ‘Burbs, not just because I saw it in the theaters when I was little, but because it is the funniest movie about serial killers I have ever seen. Morbid and cheesy, the fantastic ensemble cast makes this ridiculous premise pure sick fun.

The Sandlot

This movie hits all ages. Watching this group of boys have the summer of their lives in 1962 makes you nostalgic for the simplicity of the suburban American summer even if you weren’t alive back then and it didn’t really exist.

Caddyshack

One of the best comedies of all time. If you haven’t seen it, shame on you.

Field of Dreams

Whenever I watch this movie I fantasize about moving to the Midwest and buying a farm house. In my imagination my life immediately turns into a Country Time Lemonade commercial. Then I remember that the Midwest has four seasons and how bloody awful a winter there would be. I then quickly decide to pass on the farm house option.

Summer School

Cutie Mark Harmon plays a gym teacher who is forced to teach High School English to a bunch of delinquents for the summer. As they form a bond that will last a lifetime…just kidding. They do become close but it’s through alcohol, horror films and teen pregnancy. Now that’s a high school movie I can get behind.

Summer Rental and Who’s Harry Crumb

I put these together cause they both star John Candy and they’re both super 80’s and beyond cheesy. Summer Rental is more sincere with Candy playing the quintessential family man while in Harry Crumb he plays a bumbling detective.

What About Bob?

Bill Murray, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. The incredible comic genius of Murray mixed with the hyper precision of Dreyfuss works great in their patient/doctor relationship. I still use the line “I want, I want! I need, I need!” all the time.

One Crazy Summer

2009-05-07T16:20:00.000-04:00

I love the summer season, it’s the only time of year I completely give up caring about a film’s artistic worth and concentrate solely on being mindlessly entertained while binging on popcorn and soda (though I’ve given up both due to the Hathaway). Although I’ve already posted on a few of this summer’s films I am excited for, I wanted to list the other film’s that better be awesome or else I will be severely disappointed. And nobody wants that.

These are in no particular order, sorry.

The Hangover (June 5):

Zach Galifianakis with a baby, need I say more?

Terminator Salvation (May 21):

I don’t think it’s possible for this movie to be better than the trailer but I have to see it. Hopefully the franchise will redeem itself. I also love Christian Bale’s enraged demeanor. I hope it’s in the movie.

The Brothers Bloom(May 15): Excellent cast of Rachel Weisz, Adrian Brody and Mark Ruffalo. I hope the script isn’t too complicated, it’s summer for Christ’s Sake.

Drag Me to Hell(May 29):

Sam and Ivan Raimi are back in horror. This could be so great or so sad. I love horror films but I never see them in the theater, that’s how scared I get. For this I plan on making an exception.

Night at the Museum 2: something something(May 22): Do we really need the subtitle? Regardless, I really liked the first one and hope I will equally enjoy the second. I said hope.

Moon (July 17):

Even though this will probably make me use my brain a bit more than the normal summer film, I’m still anxious to find out just how close it is to 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Year One(June 19):

With the exception of Multiplicity and the Stuart Smalley movie, Harold Ramis makes great movies. I mean, he made a decent movie that starred Elizabeth Hurley so he’s obviously a God. Oh yeah, I forgot about Club Paradise, well nobody’s perfect.

The Ugly Truth(July24):

I’m a girl, shoot me.

(500) Days of Summer (July 17): I’m a sucker for any film that uses a Smiths song in it’s trailer. Joseph Gordon-Levitt seems a very endearing leading man and will probably win the hearts of every hipster girl in the theater.

When In Rome(August 7): Cause a few of my friends and I are in it. Really the only reason.

Taking Woodstock(August 14):

This movie has all types of stuff I’m into. Demetri Martin, the 60’s, music and nudity. AND Imelda Staunton is in it! How will I not love this movie!

Inglourious Basterds(August 21): Train them! Excite them! Arm them!...Then turn them loose on the Nazis! That’s actually the tagline for The Dirty Dozen. Tarantino himself is super pumped calling his film a masterpiece. I don’t doubt it could be. I'm hoping this and The Expendables by Sly will revive war genre films filled with debauchery and mayhem and put an end to snoozers like Lions for Lambs and The Kingdom. I don’t want realism, I want magic!!

Well I’m sure there are a few I missed. There are also ones I have absolutely NO desire to see but will no doubt be dragged to see anyway *cough* Star Trek *cough*. In the end it really doesn’t matter what movie is playing cause for me it doesn’t get any better than a cool packed movie theater on a hot summer night.

Happiness is a Warm Midget

2009-05-06T00:51:00.000-04:00

Sometimes life just hands you a basket of pure sunshine.

RIP Dom DeLuise

2009-05-05T23:38:00.001-04:00

Bring on the left-wing, Jewish, homosexual pornographers!

2009-05-05T12:20:00.000-04:00

If I don’t get to see Whatever Works, or at least a decent trailer for it soon I may explode. I was not available for the Tribeca Film Festival premier, and by not available I mean not invited. I can’t wait any longer for this film. June 19th could be a thousand years from now. The old Jewish man in me is seething with anticipation. I realize I will inevitably be disturbed by how intimately I relate to this film due to the Allen, David combination. If only my last name was also a first! Ah well, the multitude of neurotic idiosyncrasies will have to suffice.

A few weeks ago I saw a really funny scene where he is accused of dumping a chess set on a child’s head. Well I can’t find that clip now. Here’s a not so funny clip.

Sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory

2009-05-05T00:31:00.000-04:00

This is not about a film or actor but it is about an Oscar winner. I was driving home from the gym tonight and Q104.3 was doing their usual post-Bruce show play list. For You came on and sent me in a tizzy. It made me reminisce on the 2002 show I went to at Convention Hall for the Today Show. The Boy came out beforehand, just him and his acoustic and played a bunch of songs, For You being one of them. Since there's no video I can find of the pre-show performance, or the one during Into the Fire where my face is plastered on the screen for a close-up, I've been watching the few I found. See if you can spot me! I don't even think I can spot me.

The Not So Independent Film Channel

2009-05-04T20:28:00.000-04:00

Aside from the occasional escape to New York, during high school I was confined to an area I referred to as The Ninth Circle of Hell, Jackson, NJ. Satisfying my film fanaticism while distracting my teen angst, IFC was my favorite network. Not having a home computer or a driver's license, it was my main indie film source. This is where I discovered so many films and actors I still love today like Parker Posey in Party Girl, Josh Hamilton in Kicking and Screaming and Martin Donovan in Trust. Maybe it was just my adolescent naivete but I felt like the movies IFC played back then really embodied the indie spirit the channel represents. Maybe it was all so simple then , but for years now I have noticed the channel has resigned to catering to the Hollywoodized indie world. Every time I tune in I am subjected to an onslaught of extremely well publicized “independent” films, usually ones that star at least 26 movie stars, Igby Goes Down I‘m looking in your direction. I’m not expecting IFC to change. It has grown exponentially since it started and since I’m a fan of capitalism I say good for IFC. And sure, I’ve had plenty of other resources for years thanks to the Internet, Manhattan and a netflix account. And maybe that’s it, maybe I’m so jaded nothing seems all that obscure to me anymore. I hope that’s not it though. Whatever the reason, I just wanted to lament on the good old days when I used to turn on the Independent Film Channel and discover an independent film.

The Real Origins of Wolverine

2009-05-03T22:32:00.000-04:00

Tonight I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Since I only saw the first X-Men and never read the comics I have no basis to judge the film on other than how entertained I was. Well I was entertained. It was fun and funny, both intentionally and unintentionally but overall an ok movie. I could have used a little more graphic violence but maybe that's just years of desensitization talking. Oh and there was Hugh Jackman bottom which is always nice.

Below is a clip of Wolverine revealing his origins to a friend.

I lost my Langostino

2009-05-02T12:42:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago during one of my many browsing sessions on imdb.com I discovered there is a remake of the action/romcom Romancing The Stone in the works. While I’m not a proponent of remakes in general, this one is particularly irritating. Being one of the first film experiences I can remember at 4 years old, this film is very close to my heart. No modern cast will ever live up to the chemistry between Turner and Douglas AND be able to deliver one liners like Danny DeVito. I hope I eat my words, I hope I am wrong but with no official cast that I know of I can’t even begin to wonder who could do this remake justice. The thing I am most scared of is that they will go the Superman Returns or Bonnie and Clyde remake route, where they cast kids in their early twenties who look like they are 16. Adults used to star in most films, but unfortunately nowadays that practice is out of style. If there weren’t so many more important things going on in the world than filmmaking I would pray to God this remake turns out remotely decent. But the world is a crazy place so I’m afraid this one's on it’s own.

Here’s a taste of the magic that in 1985 my Mom’s best friend brought over to our house along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. What a night it was!

Where Is My Mind?

2009-05-01T21:57:00.000-04:00

Its official, I have lost my street cred. When I was younger I had a fondness for the hot new young edgy actor. Leonardo DiCaprio in The Basketball Diaries, Jonathan Rhys Meyers in Velvet Goldmine, Rupert Graves in Different for Girls, and of course my own dear Ewan in Trainspotting. Now, however, I fear my age has caught up with me as I have of late been intrigued by a certain young man who I would never even have thought of liking as a teenager since, by doing so, I would be grouping myself with the hordes of red bull drinking, Britney loving generic girly girls. But now that I have reached my late twenties and have lost the ability to act cool all of the time, I can not deny that I see amazing potential in a certain Zachary Efron. I never saw any of those High School Musicals because I am not 14. I saw Hairspray, but didn’t really pay attention because its nowhere near as interesting as the original. What caught my attention was oddly a Funny or Die clip where Zac throws a house party and his “Uncle” comes to visit. There was a moment when I realized this young metrosexual could one day be recognized as a damn fine actor. I’d like to avoid having to drink red bull and listen to Britney, so I have to get to the bottom of my newfound admiration. I have come up with 3 possibilities:

A) I have lost my mind
B) I have entered the age where I feel maternal towards younger boys which makes me automatically like them and want the best for them!
Or C) that Zac does have actual talent and enormous potential.

I’d like to think the most predominant answer is C, with a bit of B and A thrown in.

To validate myself, I am hoping that his most intriguing film to date either finds distribution or at least is released on DVD soon. Me and Orson Welles was directed by Richard Linklater in 2008. The film is set around a 1937 production of Shakey’s Julius Cesar directed by Orson Welles. Zac plays a young teenage boy that finagles his way into being cast in the production. Normally my interest would lie in whoever is playing Orson. But not today my fine fellow, I am more eager to see if Zac has it in him to make me not embarrassed to see the next Zac Efron film in theaters. I, for one, am pulling for him. I see great things in his future so I hope I don't find out the only reason for my interest is multiple choice answer A.

This clip doesn't give me anything. I already know he can sing.

I Want Mammary Cannons

2009-05-01T15:05:00.000-04:00

I know I'm slow on the uptake with this but I wasn't very observent last year due to Anne Hathaway. I'm slowly regaining my innate superpower to know what's going on in the film world. I grow stronger every day.

I'm not a Sci Fi fan per se. I am, however, a huge fan of pretty much anything farcical. And so I am super excited for Tod Hess' new film Gentlemen Broncos. The title alone makes me want to see it but what I really want is a good 90-120 minutes of this:

I hope Ewan is in the Demons category.

2009-04-30T18:42:00.000-04:00

My first official movie post will be about the upcoming Angels and Demons. I never had any inclination to read the books. I also didn't particularly like The Da Vinci Code film, but really, Tom Hanks and Ron Howard could probably entertain anyone, at least mildly, while rewiring a house for 2 hours. But that's neither here nor there. The real reason I chose Angels and Demons for my attentions is because it finally gives me something I have been dreaming about for the last 14 years. Ewan McGregor in a Priest Frock. AND I think he's a bad Priest to boot. I hope so. Ok, that is disturbing but most girls growing up in strict Irish Catholic households must have similar fancies. I swear. Anyway, this is why on May 15th I will be first in line for the 8 pm showing for A&D with ticket already in hand. Now, I'm not expecting much. This film apparently is a sequel to Da Vinci, while the book I hear was written before the book version of Da Vinci. That's kind of weird and dont really see the point in changing that but not having read either it has no effect on me. What I am really distressed about is how well formed the character and dialogue given to Ewan will be. Though I've seen him do wonders with possibly the world's worst dialogue (Star Wars) I am anxiously awaiting him to make the impact he is capable of, like he would have with Moulin Rouge had Nicole Kidman not stolen the spotlight with her divorce from L Ron Hubbard Jr. This is why he needs a good ass part. He hasnt played a really strong character in a long, long, long, long time. Now, he has a lot of films coming out with the most potentially cool being I Love You Phillip Morris. However, with A&D being one of the most anticipated films of the summer, he has the opportunity to strike a gigantoid audience with his overall awesomeness. IF HE HAS A DYNAMIC CHARACTER WITH STRONG VITAL DIALOGUE. Sorry I shouted. I am just sooo sick of seeing good actors wasted with lines that were probably written by Curious George. This fear keeps me up at night, it haunts my dreams and wakes me up with terror sweats. I know thats not normal but whatever, I am concerned. Now though I have the highest hopes for a good movie, I know I will thoroughly enjoy this film no matter what puerile flap comes out of his mouth because once again, it is Ewan and he is playing a Priest and that is freakin awesome.

Behold! Get out of the way Hanks!

My name is not Sally

2009-04-30T18:38:00.000-04:00

I never really considered blogging before as an actual past time I would be interested in. Well, I'm just bored enough today to try it out. It won't be pretty. It won't be funny. And it probably won't be very entertaining. There's gonna be a lot of talk about movies, movies and some more movies. And it won't make sense most of the time cause whatever enters my head will enter the blog. So if you decide to read this, thank you and I apologize in advance.